Life after THE decision…

Happiness – Sadness – Panic – Excitement – Normal – Proud – Crazy – Change of Perspective – Frustrated – Free

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Happiness

I am happy I made the decision to try something different. Really I am – this is soooo out of my comfort zone, but still – I am happy! My peak of happiness was just right after the decision and I would say the first 2 weeks afterwards. After the first 2 weeks a kind of emotional roller coaster started. Happiness/Excitement/Freedom its difficult now to clearly differ between these. Thing is – I feel good. Thats for me the most important thing.
– I will do a post about the “The Emotional Circle of Change” (got it from my dear colleagues T.G.) which I think explains in more detail why I have all these different feelings right now. –

Sadness
Leaving my corporate live is much harder than I thought…I will miss my friends and colleagues. They have become part of my every day life and I will miss the valuable discussion, the coffee kitchen talks, the crazy Live Meetings, Meetings, phone calls, lunches, workshops, laughs, fun and and and…all of this. I started to work for this company in October 2003 as a working student – it has been quite a ride! Happy to have met all these amazing people and hope to stay in touch! You never know…

Panic
Oh yeah…something I experienced in October quite a bit. What if I am totally crazy? What if I regret what I have done? What if….? Had to find a strategy to do something against these panic moments. Mine was to carry a small notebook with me in which I have written from the beginning why I do this, what I want to do and that I will be financially ok for some time 🙂 Worked for me – less panic moments and faster out of them.

Excitement
I am sooooo excited to see what comes next. Think I have a rough idea but not really. And I really try (as much as a planning person like me can…) to let things happen and develop over the next months.

Normal
It really feels normal now…and as I still have my apartment and I still work – things are not too different at the moment. Normal is good right now. It gives me the time I need to hand over my work in a proper way and to say good bye to the people and the country here in Switzerland.

Proud
Not a word I would use very often when I talk about me, but I have these moments now and then where I am proud of myself. Proud that I really had the “balls” to make this decision.

Crazy
Goes kind of hand in hand with Panic…Also have these moments where I am not sure if I am brave or just insane!!

Change of Perspective
Interesting when you realize, that the paycheck will not come in like it does now. Changes your perspective on what you “need” to have and “need” to do. Just saying…

Frustrated
I am good at organizing, I normally DO have a good TO DO list and tick things off. But let me tell you…Germany – China / China – Switzerland / Switzerland – Germany…I am done with cross country moving right now. No matter if you do this as a delegate (company support) or on your own – it SUCKS! You feel like you are in Europe and things should be easy but they are not because Switzerland is like a litte island in Europe. So happy when I have done all the registrations/deregistrations, changes of papers for the car, my driving license, bank accounts, retirement accounts…ahhhhh! I might do a blog post to support others…really frustrating!

Free
And still…I feel free. Free because I am able to decide what I want to do and who I want to become in life. I understand, that I do have this freedom right now because I can afford it and because I have been born in a certain part of the world – I am very thankful for this.

Big thank you to all my supporters (family, friends, colleagues) along the way – I could not do this without you!

Thats it for today from my very comfortable sofa in little Morgarten.

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